Why I am up, still?

Again. I am up way past a decent bedtime. Here I sit, starting something like this in the middle of the night. I'll blame Joey. It is always nice to blame him for things that he has no control over, right? After all, he is gone tonight, and therefore I feel like I can do anything! I can eat lots of chocolate and crunch ice loudly, and fold up laundry at 1 in the morning if I want to! And he will never know!

Oh wait, he will know. He will know tomorrow when I am too tired to move or think, and I snap at Gabbie for nothing. So why do I do this?

I don't really know. What I do know is that I am so groggy in the morning it is horrible. I ask for morning appointments at the doctor's office, hoping that this means sometime after 10 or 11! Then I desperately look forward to my afternoon nap which now seems essential. And if Gabbie refuses to nap, I just sit and cry! Then around dinner time something happens. Suddenly the energy I needed all day finds me! Now I have the energy to do laundry, make the bed and put away dishes. Just in time for Joey to come home and want to spend time with me. Why does it work this way?

I am desperately hoping that after the baby gets here and my hormones level out (sometime in the next 10 years) that I will be a little more normal. And all my friends just laugh!