men v. women

It might have occurred to you before that there is a difference between men and women. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and parentally. Okay that last one is probably not a word, but it fitted my need. Men and women parent their children differently.

Women, after bearing a child that they have carried inside of them for nine months, seem to be more automatically in tune with their child. It usually takes men a lot, lot longer to do this (if at all). I have always had pretty good hearing, especially if it is a noise that irritates me, but after I had Gabbie, I could practically hear her whimper from a long distance and through closed doors. I could be in a noisy group of people, Gabbie is yards away behind a door, and I would stop talking, cock my head and listen. Was that a cry, is she rustling in her blankets? Did she stop breathing? Or does she just need a pat on the back? Long before the wailing would begin, I would be by her side. Donald nick-named this, "Mom-dar."

Another thing I have noticed, a thing that happens to irritate me on occasion, is the way men can completely block-out children. Women may ignore them sometimes, but they still know what is going on. If a child is in our proximity, we are aware of what they are doing and are prepared to jump if they get hurt, hurt someone else, or ask us for something. We can typing on the computer, talking on the phone, doing laundry, nursing our baby and still know that our toddler wants a piece of paper and some stickers but before that she also needs a serious diaper change. (Only slightly exaggerated, for dramatic purposes) However, heaven forbid that a child asks their dad while he is on the phone, if they could have some lunch. It becomes major meltdown for dad. It is nearly impossible for him to do both things at the same time. (though this is not true of every male, it is typical)

Now if I am alone in the kitchen and Gabbie goes upstairs, I know where she is. If I hear a cabinet open, I'm pretty sure I still know what she is doing. If she gets way too quiet, I absolutely know what she is doing. I can tell across the house when she is trying to sneak out of her room at night or at naptime. And if she is nearer to me, I definitely know what is going on. However, men, not so much. I once expected that if Gabbie were to walk in the living room, and Joey was there, but I was not, that he would immediately pick up the parenting responsibility of watching her. Not true. If he is involved in something else, I am lucky if he realizes she exists at that moment. Much less that she is currently tearing through a desk drawer and emptying hundreds of small items on the floor. We think differently. Not better, just different. I'm the mom, he's not. He has a special brand of parenting that is greatly appreciated, it is just different than mine! Funny how it works that way, huh.